Adrift and at Peace

I love this song "Adrift and at Peace" but I cannot say I feel that way. This sort of ties in with the last blog with detail and explanation to a degree.

When someone tells you about another persons interest you instantly become happy and excited for a new relationship, no matter the standards. You wait for him to come and say hi or even catch your eye. You try to be patient for them, until that night you just set yourself up for nothing. Oh, how I could tell you how many times that has happened. If need be I can just write my own love story from beginning to end. Yet it lacks love... So maybe a guide on depression.

I can tell you how to act in case you know that maybe its just not going to fucking happen.
I can tell you how much to drink and what to drink to make sure you don't remember anything yesterday. It's like a blackout.
I can tell you that this might just keep happening, until we grow some balls.

What I can't tell you, is if you might just get the guy. I can give you a percentage, but no satisfaction guaranteed.

It's been a LONG two days.
I hope the best for tomorrow. I hope the damn best for tomorrow.

High Hopes

It doesn't matter what others have told you, what they say, what they do, how they even look at you, or even if they do show intrest. They all end up failing in the end. I always push my hopes to the next level trying to figure out what I can do to grab their attention, or what it would be like when I am with them.
It all gets ripped to shreds once you're face to face.

I hope this whole spitting in my face goes away soon, because its been happening since I had my first crush.

It looks perfect, you're a king!

Well, now it's been a weird couple of weeks. Constant rumble of hormones and anger just finding its way around each activity I come across. I just wish that maybe I could settle down and just not care for a couple of months. Just sit back and let whatever happens, let it happen. No matter how horrible the situation. It would make the world an easier place to live if people didn't care, boring but simpler.

Each thought weighs you down, any bad thing that's said about you you blow it out of proportion, and when you hate yourself you find it comforting to sit a loathe.

hERMes....

Well right now its 10:24 p.m. in Georgiai and I'm by myself while my parents are out in Seattle and I have been badgering myself. Only because I won't go out like my parents were thinking I would. I don't know anyone in this god forsaken city. The people are rude like in TX, creepy even. I'm not a slut so I can't find someone to bring home (except one guy, but I'm not gonna go looking like a fucking idiot.)

I just wish I could get some xanex to calm my nerves and just say FUCK IT IM GOING OUT. But no, I hold back. Plus I know once they do get back we will probably be out everyday.. So really I need to take in the alone time. Lets hope we do go out everyday so I'm not an idiot.

Erm...

Better Options?

I am able to cancel my flight for the next trip out of here. I am extremely tempted. But the first reason I do believe is because I have caused attention to myself with a dress that causes attention in all the right places. But its at a restaurant that my parents go quite frequently, so when my madre went back for drinks with friends one of the CUTE waiters came up to her and asked "Is Trish going to comeback? When will she comeback? When is she leaving?" Why do I always find someone some where in which I DON'T LIVE? I hate this.

But on the bright side I am going to Disney World Oct 23-28th!!! YAY.

I just want to see that guy again.

New moon

So my stepmother has the whole twilight series and I am actually speeding through I can see why people love it. Also Edward is fuckin perfect and will only exsist in a book. No one can look perfect and act perfect but also fall in love with a boring bitch like bella. She makes me cringe. And now... I'm one of thoughs weirdos.

Couple of hours and a handful of change.

Georgia in 18 hrs. Crazy.

I've been noticing with the new hair, a lot of people stare at my "bald" spot for a long time. They will be standing next to me just starring at it. I'm not talking about one person. I'm talking about a bunch. I don't have some disgusting scar on the side of my head, some obscene tattoo, or a scab right there... It's just a spot I shaved. Whats so captivating about that? Other than that it's a little pixie cut.. So, I'm not some punk. People are strange.

I bought Sgt. Peppers Lonely Heart Club Band. I can't put it down. I watched a documentary on it and figured I would get it. My expectations were met. The Beatles are coming back with a big bang. They always seem to do that. Like they're trying to always remind us that their still the best pop/rock band ever. Which I'm not scolding them for, but if the light begins to flicker, they have to add a new flame to the mix.

This is my 9/11

photo by: Trish :D

I didn't do anything today. Except take snapshots since I have been neglectful to my camera, which I find weird for me. But 9/11 always has this hold on people..

iIdiot.

What is so hard about simply placing on the homepage of iTunes "We don't carry ALL artists, sorry if you had to update this piece of shit and then thought maybe since it says 'Since you haven't updated iTunes, you might not be getting all the results.' then you try again and fail. P.S. WE ARE BETTER THAN YOU."
I hate apple, yes I do confess I own a handy ipod... Its pretty I feel for it like the rest of the world. Plus the customer service is disgusting.



That's my bitching for today. I've been enjoying myself for awhile. Got a chance to catch up on The Office, with season 5! I always wait until dvd cause I hate having to fucking wait for the next show then the next. But the dvd is a longer wait. I try not to call myself out on that. My cats are about to be thrown against a wall. They're in heat and when I go up to them they bow their heads and stick their asses in the air, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME NASTY BITCHES.
I could get them spaded, but I have no money.


I really want some pancakes right now.