Carbon Copies

I went through a high school reunion via facebook. Everyone is the exact same, such as everyone that were the "outcasts" have the stupid tattoo sleeves that everyone else and their mom has. The popular kids, of course not popular anymore but still act and look the same... No one moves on.. as always.

Bad Bad Time.

I thought to quickly on this whole big idea. I knew they fought, I knew they had their differences, I know dad drinks, I know Wendy enables him, but I didn't know how difficult it would be.

It seems I am regretting every single thought I had about this whole place. I am trying to get my GED in order, but its beyond painful trying to get all the information I need to get it all figured it all out. Where do I send my transcript? What's the fax number? I'm in the wrong place, someone tells me one thing but I have to do the other. I found out I did great on my test, but have to work on a couple of things so now I need to get my transcript from whoever it was sent to because no one ever told me where it ended up or if they got it...

I'm tired of Wendy getting pissed at my father because she lets it happen. SHE does it to herself and sets herself up for the kill. SHE lets him do whatever he pleases, TRIES to confront him but then just ends up coming against false promises. I need to get my GED then get the fuck out of here. I'm not finishing what I was suppose to start. I'm suppose to be like them, let everything go, let nothing bother me, be beyond breakable, and shut the fuck up. No one comes to my rescue since everyday I'm put in to a corner. I should come to my own rescue but I don't want to break down.

I need to swallow everything back but I don't know how. I hide out for a day, staying out of there way but that only makes its worse cause then it builds up and then the next day its worse.
"We love you."
You have a 1930's way of showing it...

"DO THIS"
"YOU'RE NOT TRYING"
"YOU DON'T CARE"
"IF YOU DON'T GET A JOB BEFORE MAY 1ST, WE'RE SHIPPING YOUR ASS BACK."

YEAH YEAH, at least you have parents to push you, at least you have someone taking care of you. If you had parents you would slowly despise of them too. I moved out of my mothers moved in with my sister, then with my grandmother, back to my sisters, and now to my fathers... I constantly make mistakes, I constantly get shut out.
I remember the summer I was suppose to move here I hated every minute of it.. I forgot about it until I got here again. It's only been a month and I can't bare it.

Not only my parents, but the people in Georgia, its out standing how rude, stupid, and oblivious they are! I am just so fucking shocked at these people. Whatever all I do is bitch, and I'm truly sick of it myself but I can't get out of my own head and its dragging me through a gravel road.

I'm ready to get this over with... I think I'm trying to find a home that I never had.. Even as a kid I was moved everywhere.. I never had a home, and if I did I never wanted to be there I wanted options I didn't want to be stuck in one place. The homes I had just were disgusting in all sorts of areas. I wish I knew what to do in most situations but I always crash and burn...