These Fucking Days.

The days get worse and worse as I move, and try to head towards a better life. But something sucks me back in. I'm in a deep black hole sweating, bleeding, and crying. I can't catch a goddamn break. I feel like I'm peeling, but all the skin has calloused so it won't come off so easily. I have to take a knife in order to get it off, but then give up through out the process. I give up on a lot of things. My life lacks order. I hate what friends I have. I hate what little I give myself. I'm finally breaking down. I finally needed this. I kept everything inside for so fucking long that its coming out. I don't want to see you ever again. I don't want to see any of your fucking faces I wish to wipe off. You all use me. It's hard to say that, it really is. But it's true. I'm there when everyone else has gone. So why don't you just come to me, right? I'm fucking right.

Cock it, Pull it.

I pulled the trigger and nothing came out. My tears run and I hide my face. Whats new with life? nothing.

SHIT.

I'm doing it again. I'm losing myself again. I praying and hoping someone notices. I wish I wish I wish..... But they are just dreams. My dreams have always led to nightmares. Who knows. Seems the one I wish would understand knows I have nothing to give. Seems she knows I am full of hope and thats it. Will never get a boy I like. GODDAMMIT I WISH I DIDN'T HAVE FEELINGS.

The Last Words...

"There's a uhh girl looking through the window." I turned around to see who it might be. "That's June. She's the neighbor across the street." She looked bothered to know that people just do whatever they want. "Your not going to say anything? If someone was doing that to me I would flip out." "No, she means no harm. She just does it." "Ok, well I feel very uncomfortable could you tell her to stop, please?" I got up from the table and knocked on the window. "June, go home June." June looked up and smiled then walked back home.

"Happy?" She smiled and kept eating her supper. "Thank you." All I remembered after that was gun shots and screaming. I then woke up from passing out. I got up from the floor slowly and cautiously. I was dizzy from when I got knocked out. I started walking all through the halls, kitchen, bathrooms. Shouting Elizabeth's name. "Elizabeth? Where are you?!" I heard nothing but silence. She was 5 months pregnant. It wasn't my child but we just started going out.


I heard a small gurgle. I ran towards the noise to find nothing. I then went to the back door to see it all the way open where they must of taken her. I ran into the back yard hoping to find someone or something. There was nothing. I fell to my knee's and began to cry. I let her down. I didn't keep her safe. But what happened? why did this happen?

I ran out the back yard through the side fence. I saw June and ran up to her. "JUNE?! Did you see what happened? did you see where they took Elizabeth?" June looked at me with those innocent eyes not knowing what was even going on with the world. Why would she knew what happened?

"No." She was pointing towards a shed in Mr. Jacobs backyard. "Is she in there?" "No." She just kept pointing. I then went into Mr. Jacobs backyard. I walked over to the shed and stood there for a minute. What if she was in there? What if she was cut up into pieces? I slowly stretched my arm out to open the door. "BOY WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOIN IN MY GODDAMN BACKYARD?"

"I can't find Elizabeth." He looked at me in utter shock. "What the fuck? It was the ambulance they came and got her. She went in to labor. Why aren't you at the hospital with her?"

I couldn't believe it. "But I heard gun shots and someone knocked me out."
"You didn't hear no fucking gun shots. You heard your head it the floor once the medics came in a knocked you to the ground."



p.s. these are made to be really shitty stories. :D