You Buy?

I found a site where I can actually sell my photography. So, if your interested lemme know.. I'll post a link soon... Only one person reads this.... Jackyl... wtf am I even thinking lol.

Hi, I'm Trish and I have a shopping addiction.

Yea I do, with iTunes, Clothes, and basically shit that doesn't matter. Oi I thought I got rid of it... But it comes back from time to time. I started to save then I fucked that all up :D
I slap myself out of it then I run down the same tunnel.
BUT, I purchased today: A shirt, new purse, a cd, 3 songs, rented a movie...... I find myself disgusting. I think I have found my boyfriend. His name is money. He's real nice. Dosen't argue, has made the world the devils playground, make people think they have power.... You know the essentials. Ugh.

A Brave New World.

Very interesting book, picked it up yesterday since I am bored of all movies I own, hate TV, and nothing to do on the internet but shop, and I can't be in debt right now. Not good for me. I think my friend got me a job with her boyfriends band.. Doing the "promo" shots for them. I told them no charge since I don't work with film anymore. Plus live shots are a pain to do.

"Where the Wild Things Are" needs to hurry up and come out before I become one. I think I need to make my own Alex costume for the movie.

Holga: Not Just a German Nazi

So, I had to splurge on myself today since I am
1. sick
2. weak
3. and just in the mood.

Got a new dress, cause I am sick of wearing pants, and now finally get why girls wear dresses all the time, here for some people are some reasons:
1. Great for when your bloated
2. They will still make you look great when you look like shit
3. Men seem to react different when a women is in a dress? Its strange.
4. Basically the best thing in the world when your on your period, goes with 1.

Anyways the next is the Holga camera. YAY! Its a cheap plastic camera that costs about 20 bucks, but its picture quality is amazing. The only bad part is when you go to develope its film, it will cost you a pretty penny since the film is a unique type, because not many places will develope it anymore. So, if you have a WOLF CAMERA around you.. Then you should be in luck. CVS, WALGREENS, TARGET, WALMART. Won't do it cause they suck.

The Puss Pocket

The night my tonsils swelled. The day my tongue boiled. The evening my eyes caved in. The last minute I soon began treatment. I went through the next day walking against the crowd, hiding my face from its ugliness, its brutal marks, and its harsh wounds. I never felt more like a monster than last night. Children kept stopping their tracks, and soon believed monsters were real, but not afraid of the day light. I tried to make the collar of m jacket cover whatever evidence of violence I could. Wasn't working since people felt sympathy for the pain they could even feel.
My heels became heavier and heavier as I walked. My paranoia became more intense and slowly evolved in to fear. I couldn't have run in to the sewers fast enough.

My head cocked each way it could. Felt as though my neck was mechanic.

"What happened, miss?!" I heard the gasps, I heard the judgment, and the hope. I waved my hand for him to move out of my way. "Its none of your business, move please." I saw his face mold like clay of expressions. His hope shattered of being a hero. I ran towards the elevator, as it began to close my hoarse throat tried to catch the doors in time "PLEASE, HOLD IT." A hand creeped out and opened it back up. No figure came from the metal doors, I walked in with my head down and no glares needed. I tried to not make eye contact to not cause even more attention. I pushed 8, as it lit up I knew it was coming, the fool dared to make something of it.

"Ma'am are you ok?" I nearly wanted to make him a clone. "I am perfectly fine." "Well you look like someone beat the shit out of you." He was quite the intellgent man, wasn't he? "Yep." I left it at that hoping the doors would hurry and open to resucue me away from what help people were already trying to force on me. "Ma'am seriously.." "This is none of your business, nor is it the next fucking person that see's me."

I ran once the doors pryed open. I was running so fast I lost the grip of the floor under me. Once my head hit the floor I blacked out on the cold cement. I could hear myself trying to wake, and trying to get up. My body layed nearly paralyzed, hoping none drew attention. Even though I'm sure I put myself on a stage.

I then fell back in to last night. The night of him and I. It was the best night of my life. Even with bruises, blood, and the tears. He never layed a hand on me. It was me that actually did this, it was me that caused it. It was him that tryed to fix this. Thats when I took him in my own hands, and made his eyes shut.

That Nun Got a Gun.

I finally found that Rage Against the Machine t-shirt where all the nuns are holding the shot guns. Omg I remember when I was 13 drooling to have that shirt, but wasn't school friednly so I couldn't even dream about wearing it.

I saw "HE'S JUST NOT THAT IN TO YOU." Big fan of the book, make us all think how we over analyze everything. But the movie... Pissed me off. I hated how everyone in the end found someone. Ugh. By the way I was Drew Barrymore's character, omg I never saw myself more in that movie than anything. I wasn't needy. But HE was the guy that always texted, myspaced me, blah blah.. Well we did talk at work, but I felt so... stupid.

I HATE MEN. I HATE RELATIONSHIPS. I HATE CARING. I'm never going to get over this until a man shuts me up. Till one of you prove it.

Order? What Order?

I feel like I am suppose to be following in line. Following the girls that live to be with a man, that can't function without a man, and that can't have any emotion without him making me react. I did try it, I finally got a chance to take advantage of those moments... Except I was luckily myself. I'm not sure if I'm cut out for this shit. Seriously he made me the happiest I could have ever been, but when he let me down... I crashed and burned. The worst emotional pain someone could go through.

I know was a woman we all have that certain emotion that men don't, CARING. When we fall in love we know it, it bubbles in our stomachs, makes our palms sweat, and our knee's tremble once you see him coming toward you. I was even shaken to the core and couldn't think straight when I saw him. I know that amazing feeling and I didn't want it to leave. But when he stopped... that's when it all ends.

I never want to feel that pain again. There is not one day I don't think about him. There isn't one day I wish something didn't happen, such as meeting him. I never want to go through that again. I can't let it happen again. I am happy when alone, I always get an urge here and there for affection that only a man can fill. But its not worth it in the end. Its not worth the mental damage it takes you through. Its the strangest darkest feeling. If only I could put men through what they put us through.

Then maybe they would care.

AH AH AH AH

No tricks today, no disorder, no hate, no anger... Just numb.

Did you ever find when your in pain you could give two shits what you look like, what someone says even if they say your dying? Pain comes in handy when your at work. I use it to all its advantages. Pain numbs the simplest things for you. But when you get down to it, GODDAMN MY BACK HURTS. My back has had kinks since its day it formed. I wish I could get laid.

Now please excuse me I hear a long night of Tom Waits filling the air.

App

My iPod is filled with fun now.

Anyways, nothing exciting went back to work. Hated it, hate the people, hate that I am drained of all personality, hate that I cater to a world in such horrifying pod modes, and I certainly hate the fact that I am first in line to help you. Well, I don't mind sharing the world with you, but I do mind sharing my space. I am sick of people, I am sick of what they form in to, I am sick of feeling sorry for you, and I think our new president is a slime ball. He is doing good things, he is. But seriously some of these decisions are full of shit. Our campaign became American Idol, and our audience is full of hopelessness. Our future is in the hands of the dead. The zombies... The children have no thoughts of their own, they have no clue how to speak. The world pisses me off, but I have to share it... I'm fine with it. Just not fine with you being in my way, once again.

AHH.

I want these shoes! Puma makes them, and I just found them... I'm in love. Yes at first glance they come off a little tacky. But they're bad fucking ass. Taking a break from my usual blogging to bring you an update on my greed, and love for these unique shoes!!

Home? Sick.

Just got in from the ATL. I loved it. I needed that fogginess cleared from my head so bad, I needed things that were trapped to finally let go and give me some type of sight. I loved being with my father, I noticed I am a lot like him, but at the same time nothing at all. But I love him, he's my everything. My step mother I love, she is a great woman. I'm glad my father has her and I'm glad I have her as well.

But I am happy to be home, just more familiar things around me. And my heart, my mother. She may get on my nerves but I couldn't live without her. See, that trip just made me realize so much shit! Made me happy and thankful for so much. This is what I needed, cause I was stirring myself in to so much anger and pain. It was a huge weight that I'm glad I just let slide off.

The purchases I made!!! An Annie Leibovitz book that costed me $108.00, and it was well worth it! Made me happy when turning each page. Gonzo photo journalism which made me nearly enter in euphoria. Speaking of photography check out all my photos I took while in Georgia, I'm not a big fan of myself... But these photos make me proud... click the link, DURR.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ratsratsratss/

But the only touristy thing I did in GA with my pa. Is go the NEW World of Coke Factory. We went to the old one, new one was BETTER. So if you are in GA want to spend $15 bucks I suggest this place. Its great, you get a free coke at the end, YIPPEE! If you say no to that your a dicktard. Now, I have one more day off until I am free to roam hell again. Enjoy my photos!

iPod...

hello! imI'm on my ipodiPod right now and boy do iI hate posting on this piece of shit i come tomorrow