Order? What Order?

I feel like I am suppose to be following in line. Following the girls that live to be with a man, that can't function without a man, and that can't have any emotion without him making me react. I did try it, I finally got a chance to take advantage of those moments... Except I was luckily myself. I'm not sure if I'm cut out for this shit. Seriously he made me the happiest I could have ever been, but when he let me down... I crashed and burned. The worst emotional pain someone could go through.

I know was a woman we all have that certain emotion that men don't, CARING. When we fall in love we know it, it bubbles in our stomachs, makes our palms sweat, and our knee's tremble once you see him coming toward you. I was even shaken to the core and couldn't think straight when I saw him. I know that amazing feeling and I didn't want it to leave. But when he stopped... that's when it all ends.

I never want to feel that pain again. There is not one day I don't think about him. There isn't one day I wish something didn't happen, such as meeting him. I never want to go through that again. I can't let it happen again. I am happy when alone, I always get an urge here and there for affection that only a man can fill. But its not worth it in the end. Its not worth the mental damage it takes you through. Its the strangest darkest feeling. If only I could put men through what they put us through.

Then maybe they would care.