Better Options?

I am able to cancel my flight for the next trip out of here. I am extremely tempted. But the first reason I do believe is because I have caused attention to myself with a dress that causes attention in all the right places. But its at a restaurant that my parents go quite frequently, so when my madre went back for drinks with friends one of the CUTE waiters came up to her and asked "Is Trish going to comeback? When will she comeback? When is she leaving?" Why do I always find someone some where in which I DON'T LIVE? I hate this.

But on the bright side I am going to Disney World Oct 23-28th!!! YAY.

I just want to see that guy again.

New moon

So my stepmother has the whole twilight series and I am actually speeding through I can see why people love it. Also Edward is fuckin perfect and will only exsist in a book. No one can look perfect and act perfect but also fall in love with a boring bitch like bella. She makes me cringe. And now... I'm one of thoughs weirdos.

Couple of hours and a handful of change.

Georgia in 18 hrs. Crazy.

I've been noticing with the new hair, a lot of people stare at my "bald" spot for a long time. They will be standing next to me just starring at it. I'm not talking about one person. I'm talking about a bunch. I don't have some disgusting scar on the side of my head, some obscene tattoo, or a scab right there... It's just a spot I shaved. Whats so captivating about that? Other than that it's a little pixie cut.. So, I'm not some punk. People are strange.

I bought Sgt. Peppers Lonely Heart Club Band. I can't put it down. I watched a documentary on it and figured I would get it. My expectations were met. The Beatles are coming back with a big bang. They always seem to do that. Like they're trying to always remind us that their still the best pop/rock band ever. Which I'm not scolding them for, but if the light begins to flicker, they have to add a new flame to the mix.

This is my 9/11

photo by: Trish :D

I didn't do anything today. Except take snapshots since I have been neglectful to my camera, which I find weird for me. But 9/11 always has this hold on people..

iIdiot.

What is so hard about simply placing on the homepage of iTunes "We don't carry ALL artists, sorry if you had to update this piece of shit and then thought maybe since it says 'Since you haven't updated iTunes, you might not be getting all the results.' then you try again and fail. P.S. WE ARE BETTER THAN YOU."
I hate apple, yes I do confess I own a handy ipod... Its pretty I feel for it like the rest of the world. Plus the customer service is disgusting.



That's my bitching for today. I've been enjoying myself for awhile. Got a chance to catch up on The Office, with season 5! I always wait until dvd cause I hate having to fucking wait for the next show then the next. But the dvd is a longer wait. I try not to call myself out on that. My cats are about to be thrown against a wall. They're in heat and when I go up to them they bow their heads and stick their asses in the air, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME NASTY BITCHES.
I could get them spaded, but I have no money.


I really want some pancakes right now.

Don't you want to watch me come down from here?

Plane ride. to GA. Means. I. Need. To. Rent a movie. So I don't. Have the exciting. Life Features. Of. Panic Attacks.


Well, I really wanted to write something, don't know what useless information I can fill in today.
But, today I am getting a haircut and color. Not much you can do with a semi-mohawk..

HEY WATCH THIS MOVIE:

Heart Attacks and Paranoia

So in a week and a couple of days I will be making my trip down to Georgia. I am excited for all the fun to come, including: The Varsity (The number one place that guarantee's violent diarrhea for weeks! And have been using their original oil since 1930's.) Dad's outbursts, and pure class at the nice restaurants I've been promised to.
I'm excited to get away from TX though, making me ill. As anywhere you have lived your whole life is bound to gag you. But when I get back from Georgia its on to job searching again, gross. I loved my break though! I couldn't say I've been happier, cause really that place was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I knew it wasn't meant to be from the start. But hey! Great fucking money. I prefer happiness over money any day.

Hey, lets travel.

Let me Post it on my end.

Yes I've become semi-comfortable with the thought that I might be alone when withering down. I might be at ease when my age starts counting down. But at 21 feeling as though that might be the statement at the end of my chapter.. Is quite frightening. To think that I will never know what it feels like, what grows, what evolves, and what becomes of two people coming in to one. Its a depressing realization. I don't like it but I always prepare for the worst.. Because so far in my life its been nothing but this. I know the outcome of everything because I planned it that way, I held myself back, I was the negative asshole who let you down, I am the reason to most unfortunate events. That's at least what I've been told... But lets see where this all started...

When I was younger I was told I wouldn't amount to much.. But you can do whatever you want. A bit hypocritical. Only remembering the pain they put me through.. Because it sunk so deep its all I knew to do, to learn, and to see. I took all my hate and pain to the next level the people around me deteriorated. So, I do blame myself for not pushing further, to not have any determination, and no confidence. But when also being told "You need to loose weight in order for someone to like you." It burns and burns until the next severed blade returns home.

I love my parents.. But they didn't know how to show me the right way to be a person.. The right way to love everything and anything the way it is. But that's the whole damn world, so no one is better than anyone and no one is special for anything they've been through. Because lets face it we all think one is worse than the other. Pain comes in all different short stories. Lets just respect it.