Let me Post it on my end.

Yes I've become semi-comfortable with the thought that I might be alone when withering down. I might be at ease when my age starts counting down. But at 21 feeling as though that might be the statement at the end of my chapter.. Is quite frightening. To think that I will never know what it feels like, what grows, what evolves, and what becomes of two people coming in to one. Its a depressing realization. I don't like it but I always prepare for the worst.. Because so far in my life its been nothing but this. I know the outcome of everything because I planned it that way, I held myself back, I was the negative asshole who let you down, I am the reason to most unfortunate events. That's at least what I've been told... But lets see where this all started...

When I was younger I was told I wouldn't amount to much.. But you can do whatever you want. A bit hypocritical. Only remembering the pain they put me through.. Because it sunk so deep its all I knew to do, to learn, and to see. I took all my hate and pain to the next level the people around me deteriorated. So, I do blame myself for not pushing further, to not have any determination, and no confidence. But when also being told "You need to loose weight in order for someone to like you." It burns and burns until the next severed blade returns home.

I love my parents.. But they didn't know how to show me the right way to be a person.. The right way to love everything and anything the way it is. But that's the whole damn world, so no one is better than anyone and no one is special for anything they've been through. Because lets face it we all think one is worse than the other. Pain comes in all different short stories. Lets just respect it.