Ill just let the photo talk for now.

Happy Photo Time.

No wonder they call it the Devils Tower. I saw this image and fell in love. Now if only I could capture something of that same caliber I would be happy.

Tomorrow I start my tattoo. I'm excited but nervous all at the same time, because originally it was suppose to be my whole entire back, but I became uncomfortable with that. So, now its going to be on my entire calf. It's of a peacock, now they represent a lot of things but my main importance of this tattoo is change. People are going to hate it, think its tacky, and just get upset. That's their problem, not mine. I'm so nervous I just don't want to be disgusted 20 yrs later about it.

yep.

Questions.. Thoughts... Pure Confusion

I never wanted to get married, even as a child. My parents ruined a lot of normal things for me. Just recently though, I have been really wanting a steady relationship that would lead to marriage. I don't know what overcame me, but it's been a couple of months that I've been thinking about it. At the rate I am going it doesn't seem like my wish could come true.

On that subject (again) as if a sense for it, I keep seeing myself with no one in the future. I keep just seeing myself all alone, its frustrating. But lately I have also been rebelling like no fucking other. I'm about to get a full calf tattoo, shaved the side of my head, piercing more holes in my ear then needed (doing it myself as well.) I don't think rebelling is really the word, but going through a weird stage, I feel like I'm 16. Pre-midlife crisis?

I'm never sure.

I've been eating away at myself. It seems when you have one foot in the hole, the other one pushes until your ankle breaks, and that's when your foot starts to budge.
Lately I've been a little not myself. I don't know if its cause the environment I am not happy with, or if its I'm not getting what I really want. Questions all the damn time, whats the point of an answer when it follows up with another question?

BORING.