Ever wonder when it's all going to happen? When your fist will ball up and you end up making a fool of yourself? Say the right thing, but always wording it wrong or it comes out as if you had a mild stutter or someone just burned your tongue? It's a fine line between embarrassment and an awkward feeling, but they always join together to end up sweeping me from under my feet. You wish you had remembered that one little thing? You wish you had quick wit and fire?
Everyday I walk in to that office. Same long face, same quiet girl, and the same pathetic sap that just goes straight to work. Hate your co-workers but secretly love one of them and wish you didn't. Wish he didn't even talk to you. At work I'm a completely different person. I guess its a place where I'm not happy so I'm not going to even show emotion just to give you a taste of what mood I'm in when I have to see you fuckers.
Then the next day you have to go to Jury Duty. Why? Can't I just pay you to get out of it? Make it even worse. Then the bills come. Then the friends you once had, but of course screwed them over don't want anything to do with you. I find the humor in manipulation, I find the punch line at the end of a lie. Why can't they?
It seems the lonelier I get (such as hasn't had male attention in YEARS) the worse I get. It might not be that, but its the quickest one I can come up with. So whenever a male pays attention to you.. You feel some sort of relief. I don't even care if you're the ugliest man with the shittiest personality in the world... It's nice. I like attention. I got it from my father.
My father that's a novel to be written. He needs to write a book about himself. He would be the next Hunter S. Thompson. I can see it now in the reviews "John H. carries a certain gonzo-esque in his stories." But my father is a man that should have been famous. But he lucked out. I still want to be just like him in every way. Confident, strong, intelligent, intellectual, OUTGOING, ultimate smart ass, and a fascinating person.
When I grow up I hope to be like my father. He always makes for a great conversation piece.
If someone told a story about me, what would they say? Well I can tell you right away your story is wrong. Everyone gets a different side of me. It depends on what kind of person I think you are so I'll give you that side. Who ever hasn't done that... I promise makes things simple and fun for you because you get to be a new person everyday. Just like dress-up or a fashion show. You come out with a different garment every time and people still love you.
Shit, that might be what you call FAKE. Oh well.
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