I've noticed, and thought about it tonight. That my hate use to grow very very slowly. But now its gotten faster and becoming almost a plague in its growth. I know I take my hate issue on every chance I get. But its becoming unbearable.
Anyways, it grows more and more each day when I sit across the room from all of you. Listening to the same punch line, the same annoying giggle, the same fucking argument. I'm happier outside of my head when I don't have much time to think. But when I do all hell becomes captured behind my eyes and I find a place to create a world of pure violence, no innocence has even evolved.
It's a short life we have, and why spend time hating everyone? Its easier not to communicate with you.. people. Most disagree but when stuck inside a mind trying to call for help, but your tongue has been shot with a tranquilizer it's a little hard to communicate.
I see this occurring every night. I see the future of my actions, thoughts, and horrible mistakes. I repeat them until I see what it is thats wrong. I try to fight everything I can in order to ignore this horrible disease, but it takes over and it turns into a different sight. Hate is a word no one should use. It's stronger than most think. You don't know what it truly means until everything about that subject pricks at you as if you fell in to a well full of thorns.
Its a powerful feeling that you can never shake off. Its a permanent state. It's a grasp on to your thighs and neck that hold on for dear life. Hate is only the spine for evil. Evil I will never be able to explain. No one truly can. Its a snake, the ocean, its every thing that changes its form and reacts different and is unpredictable on many occasions.
No comments:
Post a Comment